Some days I like to think I’m finally over you, but just having you on my mind for a second only reminds me that I’m not. All it takes is seeing your face or hearing your voice and every memory comes back in an instant. But then again how are you supposed to forget someone so memorable and act like the one person who was your everything is nothing? You can put on a front and try to convince yourself otherwise, but at the end of the day you’ll know exactly how you feel and what you want, and there’s not a damn thing you can do to change that.

Nowadays everyone (well not everyone) strives to be “different.” They want to be ones who stand out and be trend setters. You know, the ones who start everything. Problem is, how original are those people actually?

If you put the thought, in depth, people really can’t be original these days. Everything you know was taught to you by someone else, whether it was words, morals, actions, etc. So your thoughts are already influenced by someone else, whether you’ve known that or not.

Not to say that new things cannot be invented. But when I say original, I mean to where there’s nothing else like it, whatever “it” may be.

That brings me to the issue at hand. People gather ideas from multiple sources and combine them into one large idea, and claim it as their own. That’s not how it works. All you did was take multiple things and add them into one bigger one.

So you hear people complain that you’re copying them, tagging along, being a follower, etc. Well who’s to say those “original” people aren’t the same? Where’d they get their ideas from? Obviously they’re tagging along from someone else, they either do it subconsciously or just won’t admit it.

I think I’m different than most, but that’s not to say I’m the only one like me. Put it into perspective, with over seven billion people in the world, you actually expect to stand out from EVERYONE else? Doubt it.

Sure you can set trends and start new “norms,” but that means nothing, as there’s many other locations doing the same. You just happen to be one of the people involved in such a “movement.”

Whole point is here - don’t try and take credit for something that’s not yours. Unless you literally create something new, unlike anything else, you’re not as unique as you might like to think. Have a problem, others are going through it too. Singing a song and others join, you’re singing along with the original artist. Dress a certain style, fashion was made for that reason. Think you’re one in a million, well that means there’s at least 7,000 of you in the world then.

I’m not trying to degrade people or crush dreams here. Be who you want to be and do what you want to do. I’m just pointing it out that if everyone is unique, that would make them the same. Hence why you’re not as different as you think. Just a piece of reality for those who haven’t already figured it out.

Not always the easiest topic, everyone one goes through this sooner or later. Even if you think you’re immune to this, trust me, you’re not.

It starts when you begin to fall for someone. And that can be scary, as you’re putting all your trust into them catching you. Sometimes they come through, and other times they don’t.

Personally, I think I’ve been broken twice. Not exactly the funnest times in my life. Actually, pretty fucking horrible times.. But the good thing is, sooner or later you heal and can move on. Each time brings new experience and strength, even if you don’t realize at first.

Everyone has their own way of coping with it. Some cry themselves until they run out of tears, some distance themselves from others to hide the pain. Food, music, exercise, whatever it may be, do what’s necessary to recover.

It can take weeks, months, or even years to finally accept the situation and continue on. For me, usually a month or a few, but nothing too drastic. Everyday, the pain subsides a little less.

It just sucks to lose someone who meant the world to you, especially when you devoted all your time and effort into them. It’s like everything is just thrown down the drain as if it was nothing. It leaves a tear in your heart that cannot just be fixed with the snap of a finger. I wish it just that easy..

But, there are always positives that can be pulled from any life situation, like this. You learn what to look for, and to protect yourself and move on. That’s not to say you should necessarily hold back and have your heart become impenetrable, just more cautious.

At the end of the day, how you react is up to you. You can stay depressed and let someone you don’t even have ruin your life, or you can get control of yourself and keep it moving. I personally believe that happiness is nothing more than a mere choice, so continuing to be negative is on you. Sure heartbreak hurts, but only for so long. Then it’s on you to decide how you want to live. Be happier, it’ll be better than being sad, trust me.

It’s come to my attention that in this day and age, “swag” is becoming quite the trend. But people misinterpret what it actually is, so I feel obligated to clear it up before more and more people start to use it out of context, like with so many other words.

The term Swag originates from the era of the 1960’s. In that time, people couldn’t go public about their sexuality, so there was alternatives to do so. A group of gay men came up with the term, hence the acronym (S)ecretly (W)e (A)re (G)ay.

But in today’s world, it’s used different. Boys think they have swag because they rock snapbacks, skinny jeans and Jordan’s. Like no, what you wear has nothing to do with it, whatsoever. The way you dress falls under style. Not swag, but fucking STYLE. There’s a difference, learn that shit.

Swag, which is shortened from the term “Swagger” is defined as manner, conduct, or walk; essentially the way you carry yourself. And it’s not in a positive way either, as it’s always ostentatious,conceited, cocky, boastful, noisy, etc.. In other words, the people who think they have swag are the ones who like to show off with their heads up their asses thinking they’re hot shit and better than others. If you’d still like to make an argument about what it really is, PLEASE be my fucking guest and grab yourself a dictionary. Maybe you might actually learn something from it.

But notice how it’s always guys who haven’t matured who apparently “have swag.” Some of us are past that little kid shit and go for class, a reputable and acceptable way of carrying yourself. Not all guys are that stupid and susceptible to wack shit like that.

So, if you fall under that category as being a guy with swag, just know that you’re either gay OR a little douchebag who thinks they’re hot shit and the best, when they’re nowhere close to being so. Hell, for that fact, some might fall under both. Either way, just know that you have quite a ways to go in life.

And as a side note, if you think you can get girls cause of your “swag,” think about that sentence and keyword: girls. A girl might be that fucking stupid to be attracted to that sort of thing, but that’s cause they’re not mature, in age and/or mentality. A smart lady or woman won’t go for that shit. They know the difference between a boy and a man, and that difference is just as significant as swag to class. Maybe being a conceited prick works for you at the moment, but it won’t last long, I can promise you that.

Same applies for the dumbasses who think swag will get them through life. You know what gets you through life? An education and a job, that’s what. So instead of feeling too cool to read and do your school work, get some common sense fucking knocked into you. Cause five years from now, your swag isn’t gonna do you a whole lot of good, working at Mickie D’s. I bet you’ll look real badass serving me my fries and burger huh! That’s if you even got a job I should say though. But then again who cares when you got that swag! Lmao (;

Are you one of those people who are awake at times when everyone else is asleep. I know I am.  It’s like my sleeping pattern is oppositional of what it should be. To put it, I go to bed when others wake up. It’s not intentionally, it’s just how it is for me.

Now I wish I had legitimate reasons to be up at times like this, but in all actuality I don’t. Maybe if I was being productive and accomplishing things I wouldn’t mind it, but that’s not the case here.

So then I question myself, what the hell are you up for? Why aren’t you asleep like normal people? But when I try to think of the answers for those, I think I can list three reasons.

One is just being scientific. The brain is around ten times more active/creative at night than it is during the day. Hence why I find myself drawing, blogging (shit like this) and just doing things that you usually wouldn’t find me doing during the normal hours of the day. I’ve also read somewhere that more intelligent people stay up later than others. How about that! Coincidence, I think not.. (;

Two is the way I sleep. People are always like “All you do is sleep”  and so on.. Like you really don’t know why do you? Think about it like this for a moment. If you go to bed earlier, you’ll wake up earlier. If you go to bed later, you’ll wake up later; common sense there. So if I go to bed at five a.m., don’t you think it’s reasonable why I’m getting about like two in the afternoon? Maybe if I went to bed super early and woke up late then there’d be a problem with sleep, but since I don’t, shut up if you think otherwise. Besides, teenagers need more sleep than children or adult as we’re still growing.

Lastly, and without a doubt, is overthinking! It’s like I go to lay on my bed and all these thoughts just rush into my skull. What I think about at night that keeps me up, doesn’t phase me at all during the day; strange isn’t it.. Now being a teenager, it’s pretty routine for us to overthink shit when not necessary, but it’s how it goes.  It always comes down to made up scenarios, such as: What if it was different, Why didn’t that happen, What if I could change things, etc.. In other words it should be irrelevant since it’s all viewing in retrospect, but yet those very thoughts haunt the reality we live in. Now maybe it’s the predicament I’m in, how complex it is. But we all have those situations in our lives, doesn’t mean you should lose sleep over it. I’m learning that people aren’t worse a loss of sleep, unless they’re that fucking special to you, and stay up with you. Otherwise you’re wasting time.

I don’t know, it’s just interesting to think why people like myself are up and awake unlike most other people. At the end of the day, I know know why I am, but sometimes just laying on the bed isn’t enough to fall asleep..

A good question is how can you tell when you’re in love? I don’t think there’s a definite answer, such as the one size fits all. I’m sure it might be a little different for everyone. Nope I know it is! Ha

One possible sign is song lyrics. Haha as funny as that may sound, tell me that’s not true. It’s like you’re listening to country or something at first, and you’re just like all these songs are about summer, alcohol, girls and shit like that.. Then all the sudden everything makes sense, and you’re like “I totally get this shit; super relateable!” Or songs you thought were gay (not literally) are now you’re daily jams, like those lovey dovey R&B hits from back in the day. Haha I swear though some are confusing as shit at first and then you get that deeper meaning behind them.

Then there’s the “They’re always on my mind” thing. That’s also kind of true. If someone stays on your mind for a significant amount of time, they’re probably there for a good reason. Or why else would they? Obviously there’s something about them that draws you’re attention.

Maybe it’s even just communication. Such as you can’t go a day without talking, texting or calling to them. Seeing their name light up your phone just brightens your day.. This is not to get confused with obsession; kinda of a thin line there. You don’t wanna be stalker status and shit like that, ha but you know what I mean. You simply enjoy holding conversations about anything and everything on a daily basis.

The other one I can think of is when you’d do anything just to make them happy. You’ll do whatever it takes to get a smile on their face. Now those are good people. Haha cause really that’s true dedication to someone. You’d just better hope they’d do the same, or else you’re pretty much their bitch. Just saying.

A big one is also the future. Can you see yourself with them ten, twenty, or even fourth years from now? Would you want them to be the mother/father of your kid(s)? Kinda creepy if you’re young and thinking about that shit in a way. Haha cause really in high school and especially junior high, relationships are generally jokes. You’re young and stupid then, ignorant to things and honestly people seem to like the idea of having someone than actually having someone. So to think you can love them like that is kinda stupid, in my opinion at least. Cause honestly you ending up with your first “love” is like 3%.. In others words its possible but not very likely. It’s like once I graduate, I’m getting the fuck outta here. Maybe I’ll see people around, but pretty sure not many will end up where I’m going. Gotta think past a few months or so, cause shit changes real quick. So being in love just to leave them would be dumb, on my part especially. Maybe long distances work, but I doubt it. Especially I college, cause guaranteed you’ll “party.” (;

And I don’t know about that whole “love at first sight” shit though. Maybe some people actually do fall in love from seeing a person for the first time? I call bullshit on that but whatever. I won’t elaborate on that much more, cause I couldn’t even pretend to believe that shit could happen. Once again that’s just me though.

Um other than that, I can’t really think of any others off the top of my head. But then again it’s kinda hard to write this shit when I haven’t been in love. Or have I? It’s like I wrote some of those from experience, but who knows.. Fuck that I ain’t gonna overthink this shit so that’s all for now. Haha

A lot of people tell me that if they could go back in time and change things, that they would. I’ve thought the same to an extent, but really I don’t see the point behind it.

I know it sounds cliche to say that “I wouldn’t change a thing about my life, because it made me the person I am today,” but that is honestly true in my mind. Every action, event, or whatever else that has occured in my life at one point or another has molded me into the person that I am today.

So then people tell me that there surely have to be some things that I’d want to redo or change, and that’s false. Sure, at the moment when things were shitty or not the best, I would wish they were different. But not anymore..

I do believe that everything happens for a reason; that God has a life planned already (destiny you could say) so I’m just in it for the ride. I enjoy the scenery and detours taken on my path, but I don’t question what goes on along the way. I may not always be pleased with the results, but time passes and things change, so there’s no reason to get caught up off of one thing.

I wish others could have the same outlook on this topic like I do. Not so they could follow me or think I know best, but rather for this one point. That is to leave the past where it belongs, in the past.

It’s one thing to think in retrospect and acknowledge what happened, but it’s another to be stuck on apart of your life that’s already over. How can you live in your present and have a future, when you’re living in a time that no longer exists? You can’t. The best thing to do is learn from the experience and move on. That knowledge will help you in upcoming section of life, believe it or not.

To end it, just like this quote says, “Your eyes are in the front of your head, meant to look forward, not back.”

Man nowadays I constantly see girls complaining about guys, sometimes over the dumbest shit! So anyways I thought I’d throw in my two cents for that, as it’d wouldn’t be a half bad idea for some girls to learn something from this.

The most common phrase that I always see from girls is that “All guys are the same.” Yea that’s a bunch of bullshit. I say unless you’ve been with all the guys in the world, shut the fuck up about it as you’re just stupid and are generalizing around three billion dudes. With that attitude of course a guy isn’t gonna want you. Don’t compare him to others, as how do you he’s the same? You don’t.

Now it’s a given that some guys are just douchebags, assholes, jerks, etc. and just fuck things up. But the keyword there is SOME. Don’t be blaming the whole male gender for some dick that fucked you over. As he’s just one guy, ONE..

Believe it or not there are actually nice guys out there. The thing is most girls have some sort of “type” and only go for them. So what I’m saying is you can’t be going for the same type of guy and keep expecting different results from them. If you keep meeting assholes, you should probably go look else where, even if it may be out of your comfort zone.

Another thing is, don’t blame a guy for treating you bad if you run back to him. Originally I might feel bad if the dude treats his girl shitty, but if she goes back for more after everything than it’s whatever. That’s a personal choice to make, taking all that bullshit. If you do that, don’t complain about him being an ass, as you’re the one being stupid by sticking around. Learn when to walk away.

Then there’s the girls who complain about guys playing them. And I’m like okay.. First off don’t be dumb and believe every little thing a guys says; they’ll usually just say what you want to hear, not what they actually mean. Look for actions, and make sure his word is true. If you’re gullible and believe every little thing, then yea it’s your fault as well anymore, not just his. I’m not saying not to trust a guy, but it might be an idea to actually check to make sure it’s not all lies.. It should be common sense to be skeptical, or else you’re fall for anything.

And last but not least, I’m a just throw out there that if all your relationships never work out, maybe it’s time for a self-evaluation. I mean I’m pretty sure you can’t just meet that many jerks. I see some girls complain about guys having no respect or playing them, but it’s like you’re a hoe. You can’t be fucking around with the whole town and expect some guy to be your prince charming. Hell na, if you want a decent guy, don’t be so easy and don’t whore around. Honestly that’s how it is for some.

That brings up a great point. Don’t expect guys to respect you if you can’t respect yourself. The way you carry yourself is the way guys will see you. Act like a hoe, get treated like one. Act like a lady, get treated like one; it’s up to you.

So the next time you feel like blaming everything on a guy, think twice. Is it actually his fault, or are you not taking responsibility for yourself, and using them as an excuse? Cause really that’s how it is, or at least seems. Not all of us are actually bad, but who knows, that’s just my thoughts..

When we’re little, we’re generally taught that being mean is a bad thing, and that we should always be nice to others. Well whether you believe it or not, I only agree with being mean to a certain extent.

I try to be nice myself for the most part. I think that people deserve good treatment from me, as I’d like it back in return from them. Whether it’s a simple hi when passing by, having a smile on my face that’ll make others smile, or even just helping them when they need it are just the some of the little things, that end up being larger than you’d think. People who are nice tend to have more friends and get along with others more, as no one likes a stuck up asshole, or at least that I know of. And if karma does it’s job, you’ll eventually get the nice treatment back. Patience is a virtue, just wait for it..

At the same time, being nice all the time does have it downfalls. For one, when people catch onto you, they tend to take advantage, which is pretty fucked when you’re good to them, but whatever. They walk all over you as if you’re a doormat, expecting more from you than they can give in return. I say don’t take that shit, if you’re actually nice and try to help others, you deserve better and that should be realized.

This is where being mean comes into play. I don’t mean it as in treating others like shit for no good or apparent reason, bullying or tearing someone apart; nothing like that. That’s just being a dick, and you should get your ass beat if you’re one. But I’d define it as, just not being nice. Like as in being not so friendly, kind, helpful, or simpathetic for others.

It’s never my intent to just be mean to people, but I sure as hell won’t treat you nicely if you don’t deserve it. Some people don’t like me for a few reasons: I don’t tolerate their bullshit, stoop down to their level with drama and stupidity, and don’t kiss their ass like most would do. Now I wouldn’t call that mean, but real, so don’t get that shit confused. I ain’t gonna throw on a front for you, so if you don’t who I am walk the other way.

And I’m known for being sarcastic or a smartass, and get called mean for that. Trust me it’s not purposely meant as mean. I only joke with people that I know can handle it. If I know you’re just gonna cry or bitch about it, then I won’t. I don’t need any crybabies complaining over some humor.

So next time you call me mean, remember that. It’s never my intent to be an asshole, I actually try to be Mr. Nice Guy. But sometimes that just doesn’t fly. Like stated above, I’m a be real, and you may not like that or the truth, but that’s your problem, not mine.

All I’m saying is don’t expect me to nice when you aren’t either. You treat me good, I treat you good, simple as that, and that’s a promise. You act like a bitch, I’ll put you back in your place with me, I don’t care who you are. I won’t be disrespected, so try me. And if being honest, fair, and sticking to my values of being myself makes me the asshole, so be it.

Some people have asked me if sometimes there’s such a thing as being too honest with others. I say not really, as you should always be honest.

When I say to be completely honest, I say that with respect and dignity implied. You don’t want to tell a 400 pound person that they’re a fatass or anything like that. For one that’s just being rude, and even if they are obese, why go there? Nothing good will come out of that. That’s what I mean when there can be too much honesty. It may be true, but somethings are better left unsaid, especially shit like that. There’s a difference between being real and being an ass.

Now I believe that everyone is entitled to the truth. No matter how bad it may be or what it can potentially ruin, it should be said. Like for instance if someone is cheating, the other deserves to know. Sure that will most likely end the relationship and tear the two, three or, hell, maybe even four apart. That would be pretty fucked up, so don’t waste someone else’s time feeding them bullshit and lies.Another example would be leading someone on. Be real about feelings, cause you’ll hurt someone, and that’s nothing to be proud of. But really, if you lie, you deserve to get fucked over by karma later on.

Lying does no good. Sure you may think it’ll cover up the truth, but that’s only temporary. Cause once people find out what’s really going on, those lies will come back to bite you in your ass. So I say save a that trouble and just be honest from the start. Being honest will get you more respect than being a liar, that’s for sure. Two faced people aren’t shit in my book as well as in many others, so if you’re one, I’m just saying you’re a piece of shit person in my eyes. If you always tell the truth, and it may be harsh, I’ll still respect you. I’d rather be hurt by the truth than be protected by lies. And if people can’t handle the truth, damn that sucks to be them.

But really, you should always be honest when given the chance to be. It’ll make you a better person, and others will realize that. Being a liar will not get you anywhere in the end, so choose wisely which way you wanna go. I know sometimes it’s hard to really speak without lying, but eventually it becomes easier. Have the strength and courage to be real with others, I promise it’ll get you farther in life than lying would .